# Time to 4-Give

Source: https://dairycoach.com/time-to-4-give/
Published: 2015-07-22
Author: Tom Wall

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If you were near Wisconsin this past weekend, you probably heard something about Brett Favre being inducted into the Packer Hall of Fame. In fact, if you were in Green Bay on Saturday, that’s probably ALL you heard about!

Earlier that afternoon I was texting back and forth with a friend about what #4 may or may not say when he greeted Lambeau Field for the first time since playing there in a Vikings uniform.

Specifically, I wondered if he’d address the elephant in the room and offer an apology to the fans. My friend was quick to point out that this event was a celebration and there’s “no being upset after tonight”. He pointed out that neither side is probably even sorry… Favre got to keep playing football and the Packers went on to win a Super Bowl with a different, top-notch quarterback.

But then he texted something that stopped me in my tracks. He wrote… “You’re still upset. Forgiveness doesn’t need an apology.”

First, and I hate to admit it… it turns out he was right. I was still upset and carrying a grudge. I’m not an over-the-top Packer fan, but I’ll admit I was disappointed with Favre and how he handled everything. I completely agree that professional sports is a business. But I also think the “simple ol’ country boy” wanted to exploit his grudge with the Packers’ leadership by driving a wedge between his fans and their team.

But my bigger revelation came from the other thing my friend pointed out… You don’t need an apology to forgive someone. Sure, someone’s sincere contrition makes it easier to forgive them. But what if that apology never comes?  What if they’re no longer even around?!

As much as we need the closure that comes from *being forgiven*, it turns out that *forgiving others* helps the person who’s *offering* forgiveness more than the person *receiving* it. And how is that possible?

While you’re weighed down by the past hurt people have caused you, they’ve already moved on and don’t even realize they hurt you. They’re free, yet you choose to be trapped by the pain of the past. The only way you’ll be free of these negative emotions is to forgive and let go of the grudge you’re carrying. And here’s the best part… you don’t even need to tell the other person that you forgive them. The only person you need to tell about who you’re forgiving is yourself!

We often believe that by “holding out” and not forgiving others, we can inflict some kind of painful revenge to make up for the hurt they caused us. But that’s not how it works. While forgiveness is good for others, it’s especially good for ourselves. It liberates our heart and head and soul from the noise that gets in the way of living free.

It took the Packers and Brett Favre a few years to forgive and put the past where it belongs. Who do you need to forgive so that you can do the same?

 

Photo Credit: [Neenah 2011](http://www.flickr.com/photos/97132917@N00/6227296761) via [photopin](http://photopin.com) [(license)](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/)