Dairy Coach

This is another important week for our great nation. Today we celebrate Martin Luther King Day, and on Friday our country will inaugurate its 45th President.

Throughout history, we’ve been fortunate to have great leaders emerge at times when our country needed them the most. The life, work, and influence of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. has secured his place in American history as one of these leaders. Only time will tell what kind of legacy and impact our next President’s and his leadership will have on our country and the world.

So how did Dr. King captivate and change the course of a divided, stumbling nation? He articulated a clear vision. He overcame challenges with persistence. And above all, he inspired Americans and their elected officials to overcome their differences and work together.

Dr. King’s words and actions didn’t divide black and white or rich and poor. His mission was to connect people of all backgrounds in order to unite a country toward one, prosperous and peaceful purpose. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was committed to making sure the rights and opportunities of a free society were available to all its citizens. Dr. King was a true leader.

Too often we confuse the word leadership with the word power. Yes, leaders often have an important title and hold a position of great power. But true leadership is actually pretty uncommon. True leadership is about influencing one group of people to get up and follow, and another group of people to stand up and lead. It’s less about power, and more about persuasion. It’s less about ego, and more about humility. And that’s one thing that made Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. great.

Dr. King was inspired by the teachings of two of history’s greatest leaders, Jesus Christ and Mahatma Gandhi. Both were servant leaders whose authority and influence came from a genuine humility and service to others. And all three of these leaders led countless followers; without ever holding an “official” position of power.

When I think about the example that these three leaders set forth, I’ll be the first to admit… applying their style of servant leadership doesn’t seem possible for a “regular person” in the “real world”. Let’s be honest, following in the footsteps of Jesus, Gandhi, and MLK is hard to do in and of itself. And on top of that, “leading as a servant” in a world of increased competition and profit-driven results seems almost impossible.

But if you read the stories of many of the business world’s most successful leaders, a lot of them have another thing in common with these three servant leaders… and that’s love. They love what they do, who they do it with, and ultimately, who they do it for.

As Dr. King and his team planned and organized the March on Washington in August of 1963, many of the event’s organizers were worried that only a few people would show up. But their courage throughout the South and their commitment to achieving equal rights inspired one of the most powerful speeches and movements in U.S. history. Standing on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in front of more than 200,000 people, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. passionately shared his dream… that his children “will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

Now more than ever, our country needs a servant leader with the courage and character to do what’s right for our great nation. As time has shown, it’s rare to find a unifying leader that Dr. King was. But that doesn’t have to stop you from becoming the leader that you are meant to be.

What kind of leader are you striving to become? And more importantly, who will be inspired enough to want to follow?

A few years ago I was at a friend’s house for a big holiday gathering. The house was full of adults tending to a lot of loud, energetic kids. I was just sitting there quietly, watching one of the guys my age tend to his young son. He looked up, and as if reading my mind (or at least the expression on my face) he said to me, “Everything changes Tom, everything changes.”

As simple and obvious as that statement is, I’m still struck by those profound words.

So how have you changed this past year? You might think you haven’t, but you’re not the same person today that you were at the beginning of the year. Since last Christmas, the world around you has changed. Your work has changed, your family has changed, and your relationships in both these environments have changed too.

Whether your kids are young or old, they’ve changed. Whether your parents are young or old, so have they. And it’s precisely these changes that caused you to respond, learn, and adapt throughout the year.

So how well have you handled these changes this past year? Hopefully, you dealt with most of these transitions pretty well, and learned from the times that you didn’t.

I hate to admit it, but this past year has shown me that I don’t handle change as well I thought.

Over the past twelve months, I’ve seen how the years have taken a real toll on a couple people that I love. Over forty years ago, my youthful parents moved from Green Bay to a house they built in the country. They turned it into a great home, filled with good times and bad. Now forty-some years later, their home became more of a house and decided to move to Green Bay.

Last Christmas, I didn’t realize that it would be our last Christmas in that house. Chances are, this Christmas will different for you and your family too. Maybe it’s your first Christmas without someone you love. Maybe it’s your first Christmas with someone you love. Either way, this one will be different.

They say every ending is the start of a new beginning. I’m not sure who “they” are, but they’re right. We’ve all passed through a lot of endings/beginnings in order to arrive at where we’re at today. They’ve changed us, and they make life the wonderful adventure it’s supposed to be.

Here’s to celebrating life… Merry Christmas!

For anyone who lives at the end of a long driveway or spends a lot of time traveling for work, a big snowstorm is always unwelcome news. But after the yard is plowed and the roads are cleaned off, few things are more quiet and peaceful than a fresh blanket of snow. The mornings are brighter and the nights are quieter – truly a peaceful time of year.

Although it might be too cold to stand outside to enjoy our Winter Wonderland this week, when was the last time you slowed down to enjoy the quiet calmness of winter?

Most of us don’t. We’re too preoccupied with everything on our To-Do list and all of the distractions that keep filling up our days. We value doing over actually being. As a result, we overlook many of the little moments that truly matter.

Every year at this time, many of us say we’d like to slow down and enjoy the holidays, but then we do the opposite. Ironically, we give in to the pressure of filling up our calendars, and then rush around frantically complaining that there’s so much to do before Christmas and ‘year-end’.

Most of us would love to slow down. But we’re also committed to getting all of our work done. We nurture our work time while neglecting our downtime.

Why do you think that is? Is it because we value the benefit from our work more than the benefit from our rest? Or is it because one’s just easier to manage than the other?

Ultimately, you can quantify the value of the work you do by looking at your pay check and financial statement. So how do you place a value on the time you spend being calm and still? If you say you can’t put a number on it, you’re probably right… it’s priceless.

There’s an old saying that goes, “The first step is always the hardest.” Ironically it can also be the easiest. It ultimately depends on which direction you’re heading.

If you’re trying to improve something about yourself or the path you’re on, it’s true – taking the first step can be incredibly difficult. But if you’re going to settle for less than your best, taking the first step is amazingly easy.

Start exercising and eating healthier…. First step: Hard.
Lay on the couch and eat junk food… First step: Easy.

Create and implement a more productive way of working… First step: Hard.
Do the same thing you’ve always done… First step. Easy.

Habitually blame, defend, and complain… First step: Easy.
Be accountable, open-minded, and grateful consistently… First step: Hard.

A while ago, I decided to take a couple weeks off from writing this weekly column in order to focus on some big projects. That was two months ago. It was really easy to take the first step toward a “short break”. I’ll admit, it’s been dreadfully difficult to take the first step toward writing again. The irony is that I sincerely enjoy putting my thoughts down on paper. But somehow I convinced myself that all the other demands on my time were more important than something that’s truly fulfilling. As much as I wanted to get started again, I continually resisted taking the first step.

So what “first step” are you not taking toward becoming a “better you”? What’s holding you back?

If you’re waiting for more time, the right time, or a better time to take the “first step”, you’ll probably be waiting a long time. Take your first step today, you can always take your next one tomorrow.

Whether it’s your candidate, your kids, or your team, do you struggle seeing them with objective eyes?

Most people do. And many people don’t even realize it. For many reasons, we’re biased to see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe.

After watching the same presidential debate, most partisan people claim their candidate won. When there’s a close call in a ball game, most diehard fans see the play in favor of their own team. And when most parents are confronted with their children’s shortcomings, they can’t believe it’s even possible!

How objective are you? Whether at home or at work, hopefully you can see beyond what you already believe to be true. Unfortunately however, most people are blinded by their own biases and preconceived conclusions.

If you can admit that you often choose your biases over reality, why do you think that is? Why is it so hard to step back from the situation and try seeing it as it really is?

The people you continually defend will appreciate your blind loyalty, but everyone else will question your ability to see reality.

The motto of the state of Wisconsin is just one word – Forward.

If you went to a pro sports game or a “big name” concert this summer, you saw some of the world’s most talented and accomplished masters of their craft. How do you think they got there?

Exceptional Talent? Hard work? Good luck? Yes, yes, and yes. But there’s a lot of hard-working, talented, professional athletes and musicians who were at the right place at the right time.

So what do you think makes these “starters” and “headliners” so successful? How about Discipline?

Day after day, true professionals stay focused and grind it out. They obsess over the details and reject the idea of “good enough”. They don’t just do things to cross them off their list. They do them intentionally, always with a purpose.

True professionals ask, “What’s the specific, desired outcome for what we’re doing?” And most importantly, they do the work and possess the daily discipline to accomplish it.

Do you know, specifically, what you’re working toward? How disciplined are you to achieve it?

The next couple weeks mark the beginning of the first semester for students everywhere.

For some reason, this week I recalled some advice I received from Dr. Owens, a Management professor in my last semester of college over 16 years ago.

One of the on-going assignments in his class was to keep a daily journal of what was going on with school and in our personal lives. On Friday of each week we’d email it to him and he’d reply with some really brief feedback on what we wrote.

The advice that still stands out was, “Life’s a journey, enjoy the vicissitudes.”

His message was as correct then as it is now. The up’s and down’s never go away. The challenge is to embrace them all… not getting too high on the up’s, or too low on the down’s.

Of all the things I learned from him, it was that dose of reality and advice that stayed with me.

What good advice has stuck with you over the years? What have you done with it?

Remember it, follow it, pass it on.

If you’re a Paramedic, you know that your ‘Response Time’ is usually the critical difference between life and death. The faster you respond, the more likely you’ll be able to improve the outcome.

That logic applies to almost anything that’s urgent and time-sensitive. But what about everything else?

Although many of us tend to think that every item on our To-Do list needs to be done today (or yesterday), it’s probably safe to say that few things truly make “emergency status”.

Sometimes, taking a minute, an hour, or a day to ponder what we should do next is the wisest decision we can make.

That’s almost always true when it comes to how we answer and deal with the people around us. Whether at home or at work, it’s easy to engage our mouths before engaging our brains. We often react emotionally when we should be responding logically. The first is often impulsive while the second is usually intentional. When it comes to “Interpersonal Response Times”, slowing down to think before we speak or act can make all the difference in the current and future health of our relationships.

Over a century ago, General Robert E. Lee said, “I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself.”

Take a breath, walk away, disconnect from your emotions. You don’t always have to be a First Responder.